- See more at: http://blogtimenow.com/blogging/automatically-redirect-blogger-blog-another-blog-website/#sthash.6XeXEVt9.dpuf The Curiosity Project: Having It All - Defining Roles

20 April 2012

Having It All - Defining Roles

This afternoon the lovely Suze Jones of Joy Of Sew blog tries to define her role as a mother and person in her own right. I often wonder how on earth I can find an equilibrium (I know it's out there). The following post is somewhat complex to get your head around but I think it perfectly illustrates how much plate spinning we have to do...

Suze's children

The other day I worked out that I am at least five people.  Not like in a recognised mental illness way (much), just in a ‘life too full’ kind of way.  I’m a wife/mother/employee/relative/person in my own right.  I only have one life to fit these lives into, so how can it ever be possible to do it?  The trick I have adopted is to find the overlaps rather than to dwell on the differences.  Let me explain.

Here are my lives:

1.       I work full time as a PA and Office Manager for a mid-sized property development company; I’ve been there over 5 years and I’m good at my job.  They are great people, very family-friendly on the whole but not keen on me home-working.

2.       I am married.  We’ve been together over 15 years and I love him to bits.  We pretty evenly share household jobs, with each of us having ‘specialist subjects’.  I abhor financial planning just as much as he loathes any nappy-related task.  He drives, I map-read.  He helps the kids with music practice, I help with reading. We both cook.  Lordy, we sound very trad but it feels right to us.

3.       I am mother to a lovely girl aged 9 and a smashing boy aged 4.

4.       My mother and my brother and his family live in the same city as me and I try to see them all often, especially since my dad died a couple of years ago.

5.       I feel a need to be creative in my own right.  This means sewing and blogging right now, but has previously encompassed silversmithing, knitting, baking, etc, etc.

Some of Suze's favourite things!

Here are some of my typical overlaps:

Doing an online grocery shop whilst at work = lives 1, 2 and 3.  Getting the kids to help me sew a present for my mum = lives 3, 4 and 5.  Writing a blog post while the kids are watching Despicable Me for the 47th time and my husband gets a well-deserved lie-in = lives 2, 3 and 5.  Popping into Oddbins on the way home once in a while to check if my husband’s favourite boutique ale is in stock = lives 1 and 2. Earning the money to buy beautiful fabric to make clothes for me and the kids =  lives 1, 3 and 5.

Where the magic happens. 

You get the picture?  I mean, I don’t actually have a Venn diagram on the wall or anything (that would be loopy) and it’s certainly not infallible. Recent low points include the chilly dawn when I was facing a day at work on only 4 hours sleep after spending most of the night making a dress for my daughter.  I realise that there’s not enough of me to go around if I live like that!  But it’s about balance, rather than priority, I think.

Bright bunting...
I’m dipping in and out of all these lives and, mostly, feeling like it is worthwhile. I do day-dream about living fewer of them in more depth, but I can’t or don’t want to lose a single one of them at the moment.  So, it’s back to those overlaps, at least for now. 

Suze has some gorgeous project and finds on her blog, pure crafting heaven-hop on over and show some love!

Tomorrow we meet our last mum in the series who is about to take the plunge into self-employment from the world of "conventional" work...

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